“When was the last time you did something for the first time?”

This quote is widely used by sports events to motivate people out of stagnancy and routine, and into adventure and excitement. At age 17 I was the epitome of unchanging habits and beliefs. I didn’t realize it at the time, but it was true, and one of those things was that, as long as memory serves me, I have always been a scaredy cat. Everything scared me. I grew up jealous of my sister who seemed to have no fear of anything, yet I never did anything to face any of my fears.

Here I was, a senior in high school, never had a girlfriend, socially awkward, yet fully in love with Jesus. Or, at least, I thought I was. The perspective I held was that of my parents and that of my childhood as a pastor’s kid, and I noticed it. I knew I was awkward. I knew I was bad at building any sort of relationship, bad at starting conversations, and I knew my core subjects revolved around Spanish Christian reggaeton and drawing cars.

My 17 year old self could not be convinced that the world consisted of more than the safety of my drawings, my christian upbringing and my rap music. However, the lack of fun factor and a clear lack of friends in high school started to weigh in on me. I realized that something had to change, and that change came in the form of facing one of my biggest fears yet.

All Aboard To Magic Springs!

One day, my dad got invited to preach at a church in central Arkansas. After the event, we got invited by one of the families down there to go to Magic Springs, which is an amusement park in Hot Springs, Arkansas. As soon as I heard the news I was afraid. I knew what was there. This is the only theme park in Arkansas with roller coasters. I spent the week before the trip mentally preparing myself for what was coming. Yet, as the morning approached I knew that this was something I had to do. 

Magic Springs is, by amusement park standards, not a very good one, but it does have the basics. What’s cool about this one is that it is half water park and half amusement park. So, we decided to start light. We went to the water park first. Growing up in central Mexico this is something I was at least more familiar with. Part of my risk aversion was to avoid the slides, but I was a master at riding the waves with a tube at the wave pool and I was good at cannon balls from a diving platform. So that’s what we did, and that was chill. Until lunch time came. 

A Chance to Rewrite My Story

Everyone decided to change into dry clothes and to go get lunch. Burgers and fries. Good start. The conversation around the lunch table let me know that everyone else was ready to hit the coasters. I’m was not, but I knew that my fate had been written. This was the chance that my lonely, boring, awkward 17-year-old self needed to rewrite everything I had known.

This was my chance at a better story. Never mind the old quip of “Do it or you’re a chicken”, but rather it was more like “Do it or stay the same loser”. I didn’t know it at the time, but stagnation and complacency are far more terrifying than riding a coaster. They must be fought by any means possible, and this was my chance to do that. Still, I suggested that we start with a smallest one first. 

Getting Strapped To My Doom

We headed to an old wooden coaster called the Arkansas Twister. Because Magic Springs is a small theme park in Arkansas, the lines to everything were pretty short. So, we got in line and quickly got to the train. I sat somewhere in the middle. It was a small coaster where only one person per cart was allowed. So there I was sitting by myself when the clerk came by. He closed the guard and verified I was safely locked into my destiny. A thumbs up later and the cling clang of the chains and mechanisms underneath began. 

We were slowly on our way. My heart sank. My head dropped. Very quickly we left the shade and safety of the pavilion and out into the sun just before the big hill. As soon as we started climbing I started losing control. It no longer mattered to me to look cool. No girl would be pretty enough to cancel out the primal instinct. I was in danger! I started screaming. JESUS HELP ME! I was shaking. I grabbed onto the bar in front of me. And then the drop came. 

WHAM! We headed down the hill. I screamed my head off. I felt my whole body rattling from the bumpy ride. Up. Down. Up. Down. And then, before I knew it, the ride ended. There was no way to play it cool when I got off my cart.  I had made a fool of myself, and everyone heard me. Thankfully, everyone else on the ride were my family and the friends we went with. Phew!

Facing The Gauntlet

Everyone else decided that this ride had been fun, but that they wanted more, so we started making our way across the park towards the other two coasters. There was one called the X-Coaster, which was decidedly too gnarly for me, but there was another called the Gauntlet, and what a gauntlet it was for me. On the walk from the Arkansas Twister to the Gauntlet, I discovered that I was not over the fear. I was still shaking with adrenaline, but the coaster I had completed had left me confused. At what point do I know that I have conquered a fear? Well, there was only one way to find out. 

The Gauntlet is Magic Springs version of The Batman. It’s one of those coasters where the rail is overhead, and your feet dangle. This one had a longer line than the previous coaster, so I had time to simmer in the situation. The adrenaline wore off, and the feeling of crippling fear returned. I was not OK.

My sister, Ellie, the one who was never afraid of anything, the one who had smiled the whole way through with the last coaster, was next to me. She was comforting, but somehow comfort wasn’t what I needed. This was something similar to when Pippin is looking east from Minas Tirith and says to Gandalf “I don’t want to be in a battle. But waiting on the edge of what I can’t escape is even worse.” That, exactly, summarized the feeling I had. I was afraid, and I no longer wanted to be afraid.

When Fear Takes Over

Eventually, our time came. There were two seats per row on this coaster, so Ellie sat next to me. The clerk came by and once more sealed me into to my fate. The mechanism engaged, the clang, clang, clang, clang of the chain pulling us up began. There was no going back. The ailment of the previous coaster did not compare to this one. This one was taller, faster, it mercilessly flipped you upside down, and it had me overwhelmed with fear.

Ellie tried once more to comfort me by singing one of my favorite childhood songs, but the quiet murmur soon turned to a clamor and a wail beyond the tolerance of the people in the rows around us. Though I am usually a highly empathetic person, this was an instance in which I did not care in the absolute least for the comfort of those around me. We reached the top of the hill and away we went. 

The Moment That Everything Changed

The rush of the drop was like nothing I had felt before. I remember feeling like I was flying. “Estoy volando!” I yelled. All the yellow metal beams came at us so fast. The scenery changed so quickly. First we were up, then down, then upside down, then I noticed my feet were just out in the open with nothing below! The sensation was electrifying. I was screaming, but I was no longer afraid. I was having fun!

The ride lasted a minute and thirty six seconds, and it seemed simultaneously long and short. I was surely glad to be back on firm ground after the ride ended. But something had happened to me. I was no longer the same when I got down. I was proud of myself. I was more confident. I had found a feeling that I liked, and I wanted more of it. 

The Roller Coaster of Life

Later that same year I committed to serving as a volunteer at a summer camp. Working there pushed me out of my boundaries like never before. The very nature of summer camps meant that I had to be in close proximity with strangers and that I had to keep up the energy every waking moment. This led to me bursting out of my little bubble and it set me on the road to being a more fun, empathetic, creative and adventurous person.

That summer that I discovered that change is a good thing. Part of having a GoodGoodDay is to embrace change. If change can broaden my perspective, if change can help me, if change can lead me to something I enjoy, then how could it not be a good thing? 

I don’t know where this scaredy cat attitude came from. I can’t say that it’s my mom or my dad. I don’t blame either of them. It must be that it comes from within. Fear seems to be in all of us, and it is up to us to kill it, put an end to it, take it out back and shoot it. Change in the direction of our lives and change in our perspective depends on us executing daily the overcoming of fear. 

As I’ve gotten older, sometimes even deadlines at work are scary. Sometimes I feel scared of going for a run out in the cold weather. Man. Fear is everywhere. Yet facing our fears and embracing change seem to go hand in hand. So, ever since this experience with my first roller coaster, I have made it a goal to look for ways in which I can do something for the first time. I’ve tried starting a business. I’ve tried learning to code. I’ve tried dog sitting (Which was genuinely scary for me). I’ve tried calisthenics. Currently I’m trying to write a blog. I’m not sure what will come from it, but so far so good. 

I hope this story is encouraging to you. If you know somebody that you think this might be encouraging to as well, go ahead and share it with them!