The First Time I Rode a Roller Coaster

At age 17 I was the epitome of unchanging habits and beliefs.

I didn’t realize it at the time, but it was true. Change is scary, and as long as memory serves me, I have always been a scaredy cat. Everything scared me. I grew up jealous of my sister who seemed to have no fear of anything, yet I never did anything to face any of my fears. I was too attached to my comfort. All of that would change from the first time I rode a roller coaster.

I was a senior in high school, and I still had never had a girlfriend. The perspective I held was that of my childhood as a pastor’s kid, and I noticed it. I knew I was awkward. My core conversation starters revolved around Spanish Christian reggaetón and drawing cars. I knew I was bad at making relationships, yet my 17 year old self could not be convinced that the world consisted of more than the safety of my drawings, my Christian upbringing and my rap music. However, the lack of  fun factor and a noticeably small group of “friends” started to weigh in on me. I realized that it was time for a change. 

Magic Springs

One day, my dad got invited to preach at a church in central Arkansas. We got invited by one of the families there to go to Magic Springs, which is an amusement park in the town of Hot Springs. As soon as I heard the news I was afraid. I knew that this is the only theme park in AR with roller coasters. I spent the whole night before the trip mentally preparing myself for what was coming. But seeing that I couldn’t avoid it, I knew that this was something I had to do. 

Magic Springs is, by amusement park standards, not a very good one. But it does have the basics. It’s half roller coasters and half water park. It was a hot day when we went, so we decided to start at the water park first. Water parks have always been something I’ve dreaded, but I was at least more familiar with them. Part of my risk aversion was to avoid the slides, but I was a master at riding the waves with a tube at the wave pool. So that’s what I did, and that was all well and good. Until lunch time.

We changed into dry clothes and went for some burgers and fries. With renewed energy and enthusiasm everyone else was ready to hit the coasters. Alas, the moment I had been dreading was drawing near. I was not ready, but I know that fate had been written. This was the chance that my lonely and boring 17 year old self needed to rewrite my life. In my mind it wasn’t the voice telling me “Do it or you’re a chicken”. It was more like “Do it, or stay the same. Loser.”

Even though change is scary, stagnation and complacency are terrifying.

It’s amazing. Even though change is scary, stagnation and complacency are terrifying. They must be addressed by any means possible. For me, riding this roller coaster was just the chance to do so. So, mustering all the courage within me, I faced the group and suggested that we start with a smallest one first. 

We started with an old wooden coaster called the Arkansas Twister. Because Magic Springs is a small theme park in a small town in Arkansas, the lines to ride anything were pretty short. So, we got in line and quickly it was our turn. I sat somewhere in the middle of the train. Only one person per cart was allowed. So there I was sitting by myself when the clerk came by to close the guard rail with a CLANK and sealed me into my destiny. A thumbs up later and the cling clang of the chains and mechanisms underneath began.

We were slowly on our way. My heart sank. My head dropped. Very quickly we left the safe shade under the pavilion and out into the hot sun just before the big hill. As soon as we started riding up I started losing control. It no longer mattered to me to look cool. No girl would be pretty enough to cancel out the primal instinct. I grabbed onto the bar in front of me and started screaming. My head was shaking from side to side. And then the drop came. 

WHAM! We headed down the hill and I screamed my head off. I felt my whole body rattling from the bumpy ride. Up. Down. Up. Down. And then, before I knew it, the ride ended. There was no way to play it cool when I got off. Thankfully, everyone else on the ride were either my family or the friends that invited us.

Everyone else decided that this ride was fun, but that they wanted more, so we started making our way across the park towards the other two roller coasters. There was one called the X-Coaster, which was decidedly too gnarly for me, but there was another called the Gauntlet, and what a gauntlet it was.

At what point do I know that I have conquered my fear?

As we were walking from one coaster to the other I discovered that I was still afraid. I was shaking with adrenaline, but the first roller coaster I rode had left me confused. At what point would I know that I have conquered my fear? Well, there was only one way to find out. 

The Gauntlet is Magic Springs version of The Batman. It’s one of those coasters where the rail is overhead, and your feet dangle. This one had a longer line than the previous coaster, so I had time to simmer in the situation. The adrenaline wore off, and the feeling of crippling fear returned.

My sister, Ellie, the one who was never afraid of anything, the one who had smiled the whole way through with the last coaster, was next to me. She was comforting, but somehow comfort wasn’t what I needed. This was something similar to when Pippin is looking east from Minas Tirith and says to Gandalf “I don’t want to be in a battle. But waiting on the edge of what I can’t escape is even worse.” That, exactly, summarized the feeling I had. I was afraid, and I no longer wanted to be afraid.

Eventually, our time came. There were two seats per row on this coaster, so Ellie sat next to me. The clerk came by and once more sealed me into my fate. There was no going back. The ailment of the previous coaster did not compare to this one. This one was taller, faster and I was more afraid. When the train started moving Ellie tried once more to comfort me by singing one of my favorite childhood songs, but the quiet murmur soon turned to a clamor and a wail beyond the tolerance of the people in the rows around us. Though I am usually a highly empathetic person, this was an instance in which I did not care in the absolute slightest for the comfort of those around me. We reached the top of the hill and away we went. 

I remember feeling like I was flying.

I remember feeling like I was flying. All the yellow metal beams came at us so fast. The scenery changed so quickly. First we were up, then down, then upside down, then wow! All over! The sensation was electric. I was screaming, but I was no longer afraid. I was having fun!

The ride lasted a minute and thirty six seconds, and it seemed simultaneously too long and too short. I was glad to be back on firm ground after the ride ended. Yet, something had happened to me. I was a different person when I got down. I found what confidence feels like, and I wanted more of it. 

Without my knowing, this same mindset took charge later that year when I committed to serving as a volunteer at Camp War Eagle for the summer. Working at that camp led to me bursting out of the comfortable but boring little life I had had up until that time. I started meeting new people. The change that came from this was far better than anything that I had expected, and I am so grateful for it. It was that summer that I discovered that change is a good thing. If change can broaden my perspective, if change can help me, if change can lead me to something I enjoy so much, then how could it not be a good thing? 

If change can broaden my perspective, if change can help me, if change can lead me to something I enjoy so much, then how could it not be a good thing? 

I can’t say that fear comes from my mom or my dad, or that it’s in my genes. Fear comes from within, and it seems to be in all of us. Therefore it is up to us to kill it, put an end to it, take it out back and shoot it. Change in the direction of our lives and change in our perspective depends on us executing daily the overcoming of fear. 

It really is a daily thing. Heck, as I’ve gotten older, it’s not even deadlines at work that are scary. Sometimes it’s a fear of going for a run out in the cold weather. Man. It’s everywhere. Yet facing our fears and embracing change seem to go hand in hand. So, ever since the first time I rode a roller coaster, I have made it a goal to look for ways in which I can do something for the first time. I’ve started a business, I’ve learned to code. I’ve tried dog sitting. Currently I’m trying to write a blog. I’m not sure what will come from it, but so far so good.