In 2021 I finished a job working for a company in Liechtenstein. I had just moved back to the USA, and I was already planning my next trip back to Europe. What started as a fun trip, though, quickly turned into a logistical nightmare. When three months was not enough to go visit all the friends I’d made I realized I have friends in too many places! It’s a good problem to have, but it is still a problem! Well, it was this problem that made me come up with the phrase “watering my plants”. 

I like Watering My Plants

Here’s what I mean. Some people are plant people. They love plants. The more the better. And they are good at giving each of the plants the attention that they need. They prune the plants, they treat the plants if they seem sickly, and they never forget to water the plants. Then there are people who are not good with plants (it be me!). One time I was given a succulent, and within five minutes I dropped the poor thing. I don’t think he ever recovered. 

Relationships are like plants. I am not a house plant person, but when it comes to relationships, I like to water them. To carry on with this metaphor, good relationships are the best kind of plants to water because they bloom the prettiest flowers. I love the relationships I have, and I love investing in them and watching them grow and get big and beautiful! 

As I am writing this I am in Helsinki, Finland. Why am I here? Well, let me tell you a story…

The Girls From Poland

In 2023, I went to Iceland (for the third time) with two other friends from Arkansas. We decided to rent a car, drive around the island, see the sights and camp along the way. Once, we stayed at a site called Egilsstaðir on the north east of Iceland. We set up our camp and made plans to hike a waterfall nearby. As we were hanging out we noticed a group of girls that were in the same camp. We smiled and waved, but that was the extent of our interaction. 

The next morning we saw that same group of girls cram into a tiny Rav-4 and drive to the same waterfall that we were doing. We basically got there at the same time so we asked, “Hey, would you like to hike together?” Julka, Asia, Susha, and Agnieszka agreed and we started walking up the trail. As we were chatting and getting to know each other they told us that they were from Poland, but that they had just come from Greece. “Oh cool!”, I said, “What island did you go to? Corfu? Mykonos? Paros and Naxos?” 

Julka, responded “Well, we were in Thessaloniki, Corinth, Athens, Philippi. We were doing Paulus Road”. Those names sounded so familiar, so of course I connected the dots. “Are you guys Christian?” “Yes!” She said. And that answer transformed our hike from a mere interaction to a deep and fun relationship that developed over four hours of hiking. When we got to the bottom we exchanged Instagrams and we decided to stay in touch. 

In 2025 I went to Poland to visit them. I met up with the girls and one evening we went to a concert where Julka introduced me to her new boyfriend, Piotr. We spent three days together getting to know each other. In January of 2026 I saw that Julka had gotten engaged. When I sent a message to congratulate them she sent back a message asking if I would be at their wedding. 

The Wedding Across the Ocean 

From that moment on I started planning my next trip to Europe. Lots of things happened in 2025 that made me have a tight budget in 2026, but I had been invited to a wedding across the ocean and I was not going to miss it. As I was planning this trip I decided to allocate one week to Poland so I could be at the wedding, and one week to Sweden, where I could visit some friends whom I had met in Liechtenstein. 

The buildup felt like it took forever, but once the trip came everything happened so fast. I flew from Northwest Arkansas to Dallas to Helsinki, Finland to Warsaw, Poland. Then two days after landing I got in a tiny car with three strangers. We were all driving five hours to the tiny village where the wedding would take place, and the end of the drive we were best friends. 

We all got to the reception venue which was an old Polish farm house converted to host parties. They had enough rooms for every guest to stay, and also where we could change. We had to do it quick though, and soon we were all driving up a dirt road to the impossibly adorable church where the ceremony was taking place. The small white building was full of people. As we squeezed into the chapel through the main door I made eye contact with Julka and Piotr who were waiting to walk in. She smiled big and audibly said “You came!” 

After the wedding, when we all went to the reception they made a space for all the guests to queue up to say hi to the bride and the groom. When it was my turn she and Piotr smiled big and jumped with excitement. They were both really grateful that I was there. I was grateful to have been able to be there, but mostly to have been invited to such a special event. “I wouldn’t miss it for the world” I told them. 

A Quick Stop in Sweden

When I was living in Liechtenstein I met two really good friends who eventually moved to Sweden. They were living in the south of Sweden while he worked for Koenigsegg, and they had their first child there. Eventually they moved to Stockholm and they just had their second baby. I couldn’t come to the wedding in Poland without making a pit-stop in Sweden to say hi to them. 

Of course, being that a new born child takes a lot from the parents, I stayed at a hostel downtown. While I was sitting there writing one night I befriended three young girls from the Czech Republic. We chatted for a while and they eventually asked me “How is it that you have so many friends all over the world?” I told them the truth: ”When you find someone who means a lot to you, you need to show them that they mean a lot to you. And you do that by spending time with them. It’s expensive, but it’s worth it.”

These people in Poland and these people in Sweden mean a lot to me. So I decided to show them. That’s what it means to water my plants. 

How I Find My Plants

I love being in a place where the conversation just flows, the time flies by and I just want to continue being there. I noticed that this happens in small group settings for me. I have gotten to experience some really good moments like this. When I find them, I lean into them. I like to capitalize on that moment and invest in that relationship. I want to watch that relationship flourish and grow. I like to water those plants. 

And it’s usually when it’s around a shared purpose. For example, the car ride from Warsaw to that tiny village in the north of Poland consisted of a couple who were engaged, a girl in the military, and me. We all had two things in common: We all loved Jesus, and we all loved our friend Julka. We were all going to the wedding together. We had that purpose in common. 

Another one are my friends in Stockholm. The guy and I met because we had both been hired to work for Hilti. We were both American, which meant we had to go through German school together. That was our initial bond, but then there were other purposes where we both had to strive together. Not every good relationship I have started like this, but certainly the ones outside of the USA have this quality to them. 

Inevitably, though, I have now accumulated a lot of plants! The biggest issue with having too many plants all over the world, is that I am unable to water all of them as much as I would like to. Even the ones in Arkansas are difficult to maintain. But what I told the Czech girls remains true. If I have someone who means a lot to me, I need to show them that they do. That is how a relationship stays alive. 

Alas, People Are Not Plants

Right now, I am at a coffee shop in Arkansas, but I am wishing I could go and walk to the bus station and go have dinner with my friends in Buchs, Switzerland. I have a dear friend in Bogota, Colombia. From the moment we parted ways I told her I would go visit her. It’s been 7 years and I still haven’t. I have friends in Arkansas, in Arizona, in Colorado, in the Carolinas, in Berlin, in Toronto, in Mexico City, in Tokyo, and a bunch of other places. Even though I wish and want to, I simply can’t go see all of them. 

I take a lot of comfort in thinking that, even through relationships are like plants, people aren’t like plants! My friends aren’t dependent on my being there every day. I have peace in knowing that the people I care for are doing OK. We have built trust with each other, we have shared experiences and have had intimate moments, yet they don’t need me to be there at every moment. There is joy in knowing that though we are far apart, our relationship can still flourish. 

It’s interesting. People have their own way of living and growing on their own.There is no need for me to go water and prune them. I am so grateful for that. Of course, it doesn’t always work out like this. Not every relationship is worth investing in, but some are, and I want to make sure I invest in the ones I have. Even if organizing a trip to see my friends is a chore and a half. 

Over To You

Relationships are like plants. I maintain this analogy and I do believe what I told those girls is true. If someone is important to you, you need to show them that they are important, and you do that by spending your time with them. Why your time? Because it’s the only resource no one else can give. So, who are your plants to maintain? How’s your family doing? Your mom? Your dad? Your sister or brother? How’s that old roommate? What about your kids? 

There is so much to unpack here, but for now I’ll leave you with this: who is someone that you are grateful for? What’s the reason for that? Send them a text and let them know! Write them a letter! Take them out to dinner or ice cream! Go on a five hour drive! Sprinkle some H2O on those suckers! 

• P.S. To all my dear friends, I will make my way to you. Hopefully I can see all of you. Please be patient. You are still dear in my heart. 

• P.P.S. I will eventually write a whole post about this Polish wedding, and the fact that I was invited to be there. To Julia and Piotr, thank you. Love you bunches. 

I hope this story is encouraging to you. If you know somebody that you think this might be encouraging to as well, go ahead and share it with them!